How to Find Your Personal Style | Love Your Reflection
STYLE • CONFIDENCE • REAL LIFE.
Clothes should work for you.
Not the other way around.
This isn't about becoming more fashionable.
It isn't about dressing younger.
And it definitely isn't about standing in a fitting room wondering what fresh nonsense the fashion industry has come up with now. 😂
It's about understanding what works for your body, your style, your coloring, your real life—and the camera.
Because when all of those things begin working together, something pretty wonderful happens.
You stop seeing everything you think you're supposed to fix.
And you start seeing you.
OH, THERE I AM.
Welcome to How To Find Your Personal Style so You can Love your Reflection daily!
Let's make getting dressed feel a whole lot better.
If you've ever stood in front of a closet full of clothes and thought...
I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR.
...welcome. You're among friends. 😂
Maybe your body has changed.
Maybe your life has changed.
Maybe the things you used to wear don't feel quite right anymore.
Or maybe you've spent years buying things because they were supposedly “flattering,” “age appropriate,” “on trend,” or something every woman absolutely needed to own...
...only to put them on and think:
Who IS this person?
That's exactly why I created Love Your Reflection.
We're not going to start with a list of things you're allowed to wear.
We're not going to disguise your body.
And we're definitely not going to turn getting dressed into another test you have to pass.
We're going to learn something much more useful:
What helps YOU look and feel like yourself?
That's where personal style gets interesting.
And that's where we're starting.
This Isn't a Fashion Rule Book
Good.
Because haven't we had enough of those?
Wear this if you're over 40.
Never wear that if you're short.
Hide this.
Minimize that.
Create the illusion of something else entirely.
Good grief. 😂
Somewhere along the way, getting dressed became a group project—and everybody had an opinion.
Your age.
Your height.
Your size.
Your body shape.
Your mother.
The internet.
Some woman on TikTok.
Can we just put on the pants? 😂
Here's what we're doing instead.
We're going to learn why clothing behaves the way it does.
Why one jacket works and another feels slightly off.
Why changing where a top ends can change an entire outfit.
Why some fabrics hold their shape while others move.
Why one detail makes a look and another overwhelms it.
Why one color makes you notice your eyes—and another makes you notice the shirt.
Once you understand what the clothes are doing, you don't need quite so many rules.
You can make choices.
That's the difference.
Dress the Woman Standing in Front of the Mirror Today
This may be one of the most important things I tell you.
We are dressing the woman standing in front of the mirror today.
Bodies change.
Our proportions change.
Our hair changes.
Our lifestyles change.
And sometimes our closets don't get the memo. 😂
Clothes are manufactured in predetermined shapes and sizes.
You are not.
So I want to change the question.
Instead of:
What's wrong with my body?
ask:
What is this garment doing?
Is it pulling?
Bunching?
Gaping?
Too long?
Too short?
Too stiff?
Too loose?
Does it need another size?
Another cut?
Another fabric?
Sometimes the answer really is:
Try another pair of pants.
Groundbreaking, I know. 😂
And while we're here...
The number on the tag is not a personality test.
A size is supposed to help you find clothing.
That's it.
It isn't a grade.
It isn't a goal.
And considering that you can wear three different sizes before lunch depending on which brand has chosen chaos as its sizing strategy...
buy the fit!
We aren't trying to make your body work for the clothes.
We're making the clothes work for you.
Clothing sizes are wildly inconsistent.
So when you're shopping, I want you to stop asking:
What size am I supposed to be?
and start asking:
Which size makes this garment sit correctly on my body?
Sometimes that's the smaller one.
Sometimes it's the larger one.
Sometimes neither size works because the garment itself simply isn't cut for the relationship between your shoulders, waist, hips, bust or torso.
And that's useful information.
Not a personal failure.
Buy the fit. Cut out the tag if it's getting mouthy. 😂
The goal isn't to squeeze yourself into the number you wish you wore.
The goal is clothing that lets you move, breathe, sit, stand—and look in the mirror without spending the next twenty minutes negotiating with your waistband.
Your Body Has Proportions, Not Problems
Your shoulders have a relationship to your hips.
Your waist sits somewhere along your torso.
Your legs have a relationship to your upper body.
Your bust changes how certain tops and jackets hang.
And the same jacket can land in a completely different place on two women who technically wear the same size.
That's normal.
Proportion is about relationships.
Not good proportions.
Not bad proportions.
Relationships.
That's also why I'm not particularly interested in reducing women to little fruit diagrams.
Pear.
Apple.
Rectangle.
Hourglass.
Cute for a produce aisle.
Not nearly enough information for an actual human body. 😂
A cropped sweater may hit perfectly on one woman and feel oddly short on another.
A long tunic may create an easy line on one body and completely swallow another.
Nothing went wrong.
The garment is simply interacting differently with each body.
And this distinction is important:
Your proportions help us adapt your style.
They do not determine your style.
A curvy woman isn't automatically feminine.
A petite woman doesn't have to wear tiny details.
A tall woman doesn't have to dress boldly.
Your body tells us how clothing needs to work on you.
Your style tells us what visual language feels like you.
Two different jobs.
Before You Blame Your Body, Look at the Clothes
You do not need to memorize 400 fashion rules.
I would much rather teach you what to notice.
When an outfit feels off, look at a few things.
FIT
Is the fabric pulling, bunching, gaping or collapsing?
Can you stand, sit, walk and move your arms without negotiating with the garment?
Fit doesn't mean tight.
It means the clothing has enough room to do what it was designed to do.
PROPORTION
Where does everything stop?
Your top.
Your jacket.
Your sleeves.
Your skirt.
Your pants.
Even your belt.
Move one stopping point a few inches and the entire outfit can change.
Try it.
Tuck the shirt.
Roll the sleeve.
Change the jacket length.
Look again.
Same woman.
Same body.
Sometimes even the same clothes.
Different proportions.
Styling occasionally looks like magic when it's really just...
geometry wearing earrings. 😂
LINE
Your eye follows lines through an outfit.
Sometimes it travels smoothly.
Sometimes it stops.
Changes direction.
Starts again.
None of that is automatically good or bad.
A similar color from top to bottom creates one kind of visual path.
A contrasting belt creates a break.
An open cardigan creates vertical lines.
A cropped pant with a contrasting shoe creates another stopping point.
Once you start seeing line, you're going to notice it everywhere.
You're welcome. And I'm sorry. 😂
And no—the goal is not to make every woman look as tall and thin as humanly possible.
We're using line to understand what the clothes are doing, not to make your body impersonate somebody else's.
STRUCTURE + FLOW
Some clothing holds its shape.
Some moves with you.
Some lives somewhere beautifully in between.
Think crisp blazer versus soft cardigan.
The blazer has opinions. 😂
The cardigan responds to your body.
Neither is better.
And neither belongs to a particular body type.
The question is:
What feels natural on you?
SCALE + DETAIL
Buttons.
Jewelry.
Prints.
Collars.
Ruffles.
Pockets.
Hardware.
Texture.
All those little things that can take an outfit from:
Yep. I'm wearing clothes.
to:
Oooooh. THIS. 😂
Some details are tiny.
Some are moderate.
Some walk into the room five minutes before you do.
Hello, fabulous enormous earrings. 😂
Pay attention to how much visual information feels like enough for you.
COLOR
Oh, color.
People have feelings about color.
“I can't wear yellow.”
“I only look good in black.”
“Someone told me I'm a season, but I can't remember which one.”
“My mother told me orange made me look sick in 1987, and I have not emotionally recovered.” 😂
We're going to make this easier.
Sometimes you put on a color and notice:
YOUR EYES.
Your skin looks alive.
Your features seem clearer.
Other times...
you notice the shirt.
That's information.
“I love this color” and “I love this color ON ME” are different things.
And no, I am not confiscating your favorite colors.
Love the weird green.
Wear the hot pink.
Keep the black.
We're simply going to learn how to use color intentionally.
If a favorite color isn't doing its best work right beside your face, use it somewhere else.
LOVE THE COLOR. CHECK THE MIRROR.
That's it.
Fit.
Proportion.
Line.
Structure and flow.
Scale and detail.
Color.
You don't need a fashion degree.
You just need to stop immediately asking:
What's wrong with me?
and start asking:
What are the clothes doing?
Fit Changes Everything
You can have the perfect color.
The perfect fabric.
The perfect Reflection Style.
And if the fit is wrong...
the outfit is still going to argue with you all day. 😂
Fit does not mean tight.
That's one of the biggest misconceptions women run into.
A garment can follow your shape without squeezing it.
It can skim your body without hanging like a tent.
It can have room to move without adding three imaginary people inside your sweater.
Good fit is about giving the garment enough room to do what it was designed to do.
Watch what the fabric is telling you.
Clothing gives clues.
If a blouse is pulling between the buttons, it needs more room somewhere.
If fabric is collapsing or bunching, there may be too much volume—or the garment may simply be sitting in the wrong place.
If shoulder seams are halfway down your arm when they're meant to sit at the shoulder, that changes the entire line.
If pants are creating horizontal pulling across the hips or thighs, the fabric is under tension.
If the waistband gaps dramatically while everything else fits, you may need a different cut—not a lecture about your waist.
And sometimes the simplest answer is:
Try another size.
I know. Groundbreaking. 😂
The camera notices fit too.
Photography freezes things our eyes normally see in motion.
A tiny pull you barely noticed in the mirror may become much more obvious in a still photograph.
Extra fabric can create folds, shadows and volume.
Fabric that's too tight can create tension lines.
A jacket that looks fine while you're standing stiffly in front of the mirror might ride up the second you sit down.
That doesn't mean we need everything tailored within an inch of its life.
It means we want to think about how the garment behaves when you're actually:
standing
sitting
walking
turning
laughing
moving your arms
Because that's what you'll be doing in your portrait session.
And, preferably, in real life too.
How to Find Your Personal Style by Following the Line
Let's talk about something you probably notice every day without realizing you're noticing it.
Your eye follows lines.
When you look at an outfit, your eye travels.
Sometimes it moves smoothly from top to bottom.
Sometimes it stops.
Changes direction.
Starts again.
None of those things are automatically good or bad.
They simply create different visual effects.
That's your vertical line.
A similar color from top to bottom can create one long, continuous path.
A contrasting belt can create a stopping point.
A jacket can create another.
A cropped pant with a contrasting shoe creates another.
Even an open cardigan can create two long vertical lines right down the front of the body.
Once you start seeing this, you're going to notice it everywhere.
You're welcome. And I'm sorry. 😂
The goal is NOT to look as tall and thin as humanly possible.
I want to make that very clear.
Fashion advice has spent decades teaching women that every styling decision should somehow make us look taller, thinner or smaller.
That's not our goal.
We're using line to understand what the clothes are doing.
Sometimes you may love a long, uninterrupted line.
Sometimes an outfit needs a visual break to feel interesting.
Sometimes changing the length of one piece is enough to make the entire outfit click.
And eventually, you'll discover that the kinds of lines you're naturally drawn to can also give us clues about your Reflection Style.
Strong.
Relaxed.
Balanced.
Shaped.
Broken.
Light.
Fluid.
We'll get there.
For now, just start noticing.
Where does your eye travel?
That's one of the little secrets behind learning how to find your personal style instead of simply copying someone else's outfit.
Meet the Seven Reflection Styles
Okay.
You've waited long enough.
Meet the seven visual languages inside Love Your Reflection.
And before you start mentally choosing yours...
Nice try. 😂
You don't need to decide yet.
For now, I simply want you to notice the different feeling each one creates.
The Statement — Presence
Bold • Strong • Striking • Sleek
The Statement has visual presence.
Think clear, strong, intentional lines and pieces that don't disappear into the background.
The message is:
PRESENCE.
The Spark — Energy
Playful • Spirited • Creative • Unexpected
The Spark comes alive through interest.
There's often something that interrupts the expected—a detail, combination or visual surprise that gives the look energy.
The message is:
ENERGY.
The Free Spirit — Ease
Relaxed • Textured • Effortless • Natural
The Free Spirit has an unforced quality.
Texture, ease and natural movement matter more than looking overly arranged or controlled.
The message is:
EASE.
The Polished — Balance
Refined • Balanced • Timeless • Put-Together
The Polished feels harmonious.
Fit, proportion and finishing work together so the entire look feels intentional without needing to shout about it.
The message is:
BALANCE.
The Soft Glam — Femininity
Feminine • Soft • Luxe • Confident
Soft Glam combines softness with shape and richness.
It can feel beautiful, graceful and feminine without needing to be revealing, tight or overdone.
The message is:
FEMININITY.
The Charm — Detail
Pretty • Detailed • Light • Feminine
Charm notices the beautiful little things.
There's visual lightness and thoughtful detail—the element that makes you want to look just a little closer.
The message is:
DETAIL.
The Dreamer — Atmosphere
Ethereal • Artistic • Luminous • Fluid
The Dreamer creates a feeling.
Movement, artistry, light and fluidity can give the clothing an almost atmospheric quality.
The message is:
ATMOSPHERE.
And that's where I'm going to stop.
Because I can already hear some of you saying:
“WAIT. I LIKE THREE OF THEM.”
Excellent.
You're paying attention. 😂
You're Probably a Blend
You may see yourself in more than one Reflection Style.
Good.
You're a human being, not a paint swatch. 😂
You might love the balance of The Polished with some of The Spark's energy.
You might be drawn to Soft Glam's femininity but also love the presence of The Statement.
You may want Free Spirit ease with a little Dreamer atmosphere.
Those combinations aren't a problem.
They're part of the point.
You may have one very clear Reflection Style.
You may have a strong primary with another influence.
Or two may work together so closely that the combination tells us more than either could alone.
And occasionally your answers may essentially say:
Melonie, this woman contains multitudes. Please investigate. 😂
That's okay too.
The goal is recognition, not classification.
Because your Reflection Style is only one piece.
We still consider your body.
Your coloring.
Your real life.
Your comfort.
And, for my portrait clients, the camera.
Ready for the Quiz? Don't Study for This 😂
Your closet gives us clues.
But it doesn't tell the whole story.
Some clothes are there because they were practical.
On sale.
Required for work.
Easy to find.
Supposedly flattering.
Or purchased during a deeply optimistic moment when you apparently believed you were about to become someone who attends garden parties every Thursday. 😂
I also want to know what catches your eye.
What makes you stop?
What makes you zoom in?
What would you wear in a heartbeat?
And what makes you think:
Beautiful...but not me.
That answer matters too.
That's what the Reflection Style Discovery is designed to uncover.
And I need you to promise me something.
Don't study for it.
Please don't read the seven descriptions seventeen times and create a spreadsheet.
I know some of you.
Put the highlighter down. 😂
There is no better Reflection Style.
No more fashionable one.
No more sophisticated one.
And definitely no “best for photographs” one.
I want your instinct, not the answer you think you're supposed to give.
Don't choose what you think is most flattering.
Don't choose what you think I want.
Don't choose the woman you think you should be.
Choose what makes something inside you say:
Yep. That's me.
I'll take it from there.
READY?
Your Personal Style Should Still Look Like You in Portraits | YOUR CLOSET. OUR CLOSET. A LITTLE AMAZON
NOW THAT WE KNOW YOUR STYLE… LET’S FIND SOMETHING TO WEAR. 😂
Taking your Reflection Style Discovery gives us something incredibly useful:
We’re no longer wandering through racks—or the internet—hoping something feels right.
We have a direction.
And that’s exactly why I created our Style Closet and Shop Our Amazing Amazon Deals.
FIRST STOP: OUR STYLE CLOSET
You do not need to buy an entirely new outfit just because you're having portraits taken.
Seriously.
I have a Style Closet filled with pieces we can use to help bring your Reflection Style to life—things chosen because they give us beautiful options for line, shape, texture, movement, detail and layering.
Sometimes the perfect piece is already hanging right here waiting for you.
And sometimes trying something from the Style Closet helps you see possibilities you might never have pulled off a rack for yourself.
That's part of the fun.
AND IF YOU'D RATHER BUY SOMETHING…
I also keep an eye out for amazing Amazon finds that work beautifully with the different Reflection Styles.
But here's the important part:
I DON'T WANT YOU BUYING A “PORTRAIT OUTFIT.”
You know the one.
Gorgeous for 45 minutes.
Looks fabulous in the photographs.
Then hangs in the back of your closet for the next six years wondering what it did wrong. 😂
If you're going to spend money on something new, I'd much rather help you find a piece that works for your portrait and earns a place in your real wardrobe afterward.
A great jacket you keep reaching for.
A dress you wear to dinner again.
A blouse that suddenly works with three things you already own.
A necklace that finishes an outfit without requiring an advanced degree in accessorizing.
Something that feels like YOU—not something you bought because you thought you were supposed to look a certain way for pictures.
YOUR DISCOVERY RESULT MAKES SHOPPING A WHOLE LOT EASIER
Once we know your primary—and possibly secondary—Reflection Style, we can shop with intention.
Instead of asking:
Is this cute?
we can start asking:
Does this speak my visual language?
Does the silhouette feel right?
Does the fabric behave the way I like?
Is the detail enough—or too much?
Does it work with my body, my coloring and my actual life?
And most importantly:
WILL I FEEL LIKE MYSELF WHEN I PUT IT ON?
Because whether your portrait outfit comes from your own closet, my Style Closet, or one of our Amazon finds, the goal is exactly the same.
Not:
Great outfit.
Not:
Wow, she really dressed up for pictures.
But:
OH, THERE I AM.
The Mirror Test
We've talked about bodies.
Clothes.
Fit.
Proportion.
Color.
Reflection Style.
And now we're going to use a highly sophisticated piece of styling equipment.
A mirror. 😂
Put the outfit on.
Not on the hanger.
Not beautifully arranged across your bed.
Not on the 5'10" model who has apparently never needed pants hemmed in her life.
On you.
Then ask yourself:
Do I notice ME first—or the clothes?
Your clothes can absolutely be bold, beautiful, interesting or dramatic.
They just need to feel connected to the woman wearing them.
Am I comfortable standing normally?
Or have I already started sucking in, pulling down, tugging up and negotiating with the outfit like we're trying to reach a peace agreement? 😂
Pay attention to that.
Would I actually wear this somewhere in my real life?
Sometimes we love the idea of an outfit.
Then we put it on and discover we'd apparently need an invitation to a yacht party in Monaco to have anywhere to wear it.
Beautiful?
Yes.
You?
Maybe not.
Does it feel like me?
And finally...
Would I be disappointed if I had to take this outfit off?
Ooooooh.
That one tells us something.
Because when clothing really works, there's often this tiny little moment:
No, wait. I LIKE me in this.
That's what we're looking for.
Oh, There You Are.
This was never about becoming better at fashion.
It wasn't about learning how to hide your stomach.
Disguise your hips.
Dress younger.
Dress older.
Or find the magical pair of pants that turns your body into somebody else's.
I don't want somebody else's body for you.
I want us to dress the woman standing in front of the mirror today.
Her body.
Her coloring.
Her life.
Her style.
And when it's time for your portrait...
Her face.
Her laugh.
Her expression.
Her story.
I want you to understand why some clothes work and others don't.
I want you to have more confidence making choices.
And I would really love for all of us to spend a whole lot less energy blaming our bodies
when a pair of pants behaves badly. 😂
Because this was never about making your body work for the clothes.
We're making the clothes work for you.
That's what Love Your Reflection means to me.
And somewhere along the way—while you're getting dressed, passing a mirror, seeing the back of my camera, or looking at your finished portrait—I hope something shifts.
For just a moment, you don't immediately search for what needs fixing.
You don't see the number on the tag.
You don't see the age you're supposed to look.
You don't see the body you used to have.
You see her.
The woman who's been standing there the whole time.
And you think:
OH, THERE I AM.
STYLE • CONFIDENCE • REAL LIFE.
LAST CHANCE TO DISCOVER YOUR REFLECTION STYLE →
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